Valentine

“It was a cramped, steamy little place where everything seemed to have been decorated with frills or bows. Harry was reminded unpleasantly of Umbridge’s office.

‘Cute, isn’t it?’ said Cho happily.

‘Er… yeah,’ said Harry untruthfully.

‘Look, she’s decorated it for Valentine’s Day!’ said Cho, indicating a number of golden cherubs that were hovering over each of the small, circular tables, occasionally throwing pink confetti over the occupants.”

--from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J. K. Rowling

I had a different quote and a different topic picked out for today’s post. I was not going to write about Valentine’s Day. It wasn’t that I was stubbornly refusing to acknowledge it. I just kind of forgot about it. It happens almost every year with me.

I can’t help but be aware that it’s the Valentine’s Day season, what with the giant displays of candy in the stores and plethora of annoying jewelry commercials on TV. (Seriously, is there a self-respecting woman on this planet that does not hate that jewelry commercial where the woman cringes into her boyfriend’s/husband’s arms to hide from a thunderstorm? Ugh.) But when the actual day comes around, I often miss it entirely. It just doesn’t have any meaning for me. After all, I’ve never had a valentine on Valentine’s Day.

So, I was just going to ignore Valentine’s Day. But then, this morning, I was inspired by my friend Shannon to give it a second thought. Shannon has a husband and a therefore has a valentine, but in her post today, she admits that she’s always loved Valentine’s Day for the color and the candy, even back when she was not in a relationship.

I like her attitude. I don’t like the way that this day makes some single people feel depressed and inadequate. I don’t like the thought that I can’t celebrate a holiday equally well out of a relationship as in one. I think I could learn to appreciate Valentine’s Day for my own reasons, like Shannon did. Here are some things to love about Valentine’s Day, regardless of your relationship status:

Valentine’s Day is a reason to eat candy, or cake, or cookies. I kind of stole this one from Shannon, but it can’t be ignored. On Valentine’s Day, there is chocolate everywhere! And cookies and cupcakes with pretty pink frosting! Those things have the potential to make anyone happy. Who doesn’t love a cupcake?

It’s a reason to wear cute, kitschy accessories that would otherwise be obnoxious. I’m not one to wear ugly Christmas sweaters or flag t-shirts on the 4th of July, but I will admit that today I wished that I had a pair of dangly red earrings or a scarf with hearts on it. I like reasons to dress just a little bit silly. It makes me smile. I might have to buy some Valentine’s Day accessories when they go on sale tomorrow, just so I have them for next year.

It inspires people to do something nice. Occasionally, this takes the form of admission of romantic feelings, but I think Valentine’s Day prompts people to do other little nice things, too. Several of my coworkers added a “Happy Valentine’s Day” message at the end of their emails today, sometimes in pretty red font. The running store is giving away free entries to a race based on the best answers to the question, “Why do you love running?” Not everything that happens on V-day has to do with romantic love.

Most of all, it makes me remember nice things that people did for me in the past. Even when I do think about the romantic aspects of Valentine’s Day, it’s not all bitter memories. I think of the time that my high school love interest gave me a paper flower that he made out of the program for the honors assembly we were sitting through. I remember the time that a friend from college found a perfect article for me for an assignment I was struggling with, for no particular reason except to be helpful. I remember the time that a fellow grad student complimented my necklace and sweater on a day that I felt like no one noticed anything about me but my paper grades. None of these guys had any interest in me romantically, but they still gave me valentines in their own ways. Maybe not on Valentine’s Day, but some time when it meant more.

I think about the time that Shannon told me I looked thin right after I ranted through some frustrations about work and roommates. I think of the time that my college roommate sent me an email that said, “It’s never too late to begin” while I was studying abroad and feeling like I had blown it. I think about the time just two days ago when my sister gave me half a bag of pretzel m&ms because I had been crying out of frustration, grief, and exhaustion. Those were all valentines of a sort, too.

I’ve never thought Valentine’s Day was the root of all evil, but I do admit to feeling like it was not worthy of note. I don’t feel that way any more, thanks to Shannon, and thanks to the half a bag of pretzel m&ms that this day gave me a reason to eat.

Today, I thought of the people that I love. I thought of all the ways that people show that they love me. I got emails from two of my closest friends. I got a bonus Starbucks postcard in the mail. I got to cuddle with my kitty. Granted, most of those things had nothing to do with Valentine’s Day. But I had a happy Valentine’s Day, anyway.

I hope you did, too.