When I left Sweden after my semester abroad, I wondered what
it would feel like to return. Now, after being in Stockholm for a week, I can only
say that it seems that my relationship with Sweden will always be a complicated
one.
It’s just so beautiful here. And I can’t help but feel like
things could have been so, so different the first time around if I had just
learned how to conquer my demons sooner.
When I left as a 21-year-old, I felt mostly relief, tinged
with sadness and regret. I hoped that by the time I came back, my desire for
adventure would not be so clouded by fear. I’m proud to say that I accomplished
that much.
But I also know that it was only a twist of fate that
brought me back to Sweden, and it’s a strong possibility that I won’t be lucky
enough to return again. So I am sad to have been unable to make my semester here better for myself and those I encountered. What a waste.
