Birthday masks?

Well, folks, it’s t-minus one week until I turn 26. Since my birthday is on the 26th of January, that makes this my golden birthday! And I’m proud to report that in my three and a half years in the city, I have finally met enough people that I can throw a party.

Yup, next Saturday, I’ve invited all my friends to come and celebrate with me at my gracious host’s lakefront condo. I sent an evite, and so far I have 17 e-yeses and 2 e-maybes. That’s a lot of e-sponses! (Yes, Scrubs fans, I did borrow that line from J.D.) I’m really excited that so many people are coming. (Though I barely know a few of them, so this kinda makes it look like I have more friends than I really do. Shut up. It’s my birthday. Let me have it.)

The high number of attendees is actually going to make this quite interesting, because it’s my first attempt at mixing groups of friends. Theoretically, this should not be a big deal, but the idea has gotten me thinking about a skit that comedian Jim Gaffigan does about the different faces we put on for different groups. He says something like, “Just so you know, this group thinks I don’t drink, and that group thinks I have a British accent.” Obviously, no one thinks I have a British accent (I wouldn’t be able to fake it if I tried!) and I’m pretty sure I’ve never so much as insinuated that I don’t drink. However, I have been thinking about the ways I act around each group and wondering if there will be any surprises for anyone.

Let’s examine the facts, shall we?

Group: co-workers
What we’ve done together: Work (obviously), so they know that I am generally focused worker who doesn’t leave her desk much. Bar trivia, so they know I’m clueless when it comes to sports, and not much better when it comes to anything but math. Other parties, so they have seen me drink and know I suck at beer pong.
What they don’t know: any details about my life before I moved to Chicago – no ex-boy drama, no family drama, no study abroad trauma. They know who I am now, but not where I come from.

Group: ex-roommates
What we’ve done together: Lived (obviously) through my first year in the city, so they saw my rocky homesickness phase and my depressed, post heart-ripping-out phase, and they know I basically won’t clean until something’s disgusting. Some bar outings, so they know a lot about my once-controlling, now under-control social anxiety issues about bars.
What they don’t know: How much my current situation suits me, and how involved I’ve gotten with social and volunteering stuff. They saw me struggle. I’m not sure they saw me get all the way out of the abyss.

Group: friends from undergrad
What we’ve done together: Gone to school (do I need to say it again?), so they know I am a grade monger to the extreme. Done lots of church and volunteer stuff, so they know I have it in me to be a successful, albeit reluctant, leader.
What they don’t know: The ways I interact with my boss and coworkers, and how seriously I take my job. We don’t talk about work all that much, and I don’t think they really know how good I am at my job and how much I really love it.

Group: friends from grad school
What we’ve done together: Studied, studied, studied, so they know how I am obsessive compulsive about getting stuff done. Done some Harry Potter discussions and games, so they know the extent of my nerd-dom in that department.
What they don’t know: almost anything about my life before or after grad school. During that year, school was my life, and the only other thing I talked about was joining the Peace Corps. So, looking back, I’m not sure they know much more than how I felt and acted during that one year of my life. However, they are the only ones that really know about that year.

Group: well, this time, one person – my sister.
What we’ve done together: Oh good God, shared a bedroom, shared a bathroom, shared the back seat of a car on long trips… you know how it is with siblings. Since she moved to Chicago, gone to plays and dinner from time to time. Laurie was a part of my everyday life until she left for college, and has heard second hand about most of my life’s triumphs and defeats after that.
What she doesn’t know: The day-to-day details of my life right now. She only hears about the deviations from that. I’m not sure she knows how I get to work, what I do all day, what coffee shops I frequent, or what TV shows I watch.

So, it’s true that every group has a slightly different picture of me in their minds. But after that analysis, I don’t think that any of those pictures really conflict with each other. They’re just each incomplete – each a different piece of my whole.

This conclusion pleases me, because it means that I’m not really wearing any masks these days. I have different outlets for my different interests, but I don’t become a different person to please different people. Maybe, after 26 years, I have figured out who I really am.

Of course, this is just a theoretical analysis. I’ll be interested to see what happens at the party. Perhaps you, reader, will be there, but if not – wish me luck.